For this assignment I interviewed three people that I communicate with on a daily basis: Madison Barker, my supervisor, Andrew Radcliff, my brother, and Dirk Hogan, my boyfriend.

1. Articulating needs, opinions, views, or concerns
    

“Sarah is very straightforward about all of the above. She generally does not hesitate to ask a question or bring up a problem. She also does not shy away from expressing her opinions or viewpoints on any matter, both small or large. And when Sarah does broach these topics, she always handles the matter and herself professionally and with respect.” -Madison Barker

“You have always articulated your needs, opinions, views, and concerns in a forward manner. You have always presented yourself honestly and directly in our exchanges, but we grew up in the same circumstances with the same people. We are relatable to each other.” -Andrew Radcliff

“You articulate yourself well around me. You have no problem telling me if you need something from me. When you’re upset about something you usually will tell me, but for the most part you let it go to avoid us having a bad day together. You’ve been through some things that make you pretty dismissive of any sort of conflict.” -Dirk Hogan

 

At work, I am straightforward in communication. Andy knows me well, and we can connect in conversation over past experiences. This strengthens our trust and bond, resulting in more clear communication. Dirk’s analysis of how I articulate my concerns shows my tendency toward masking and avoidance. He has discovered some mystery throughout our relationship which helps him understand why I avoid conflicts.

 

1. Listening
    

“You are as gracious in listening to another person’s perspective as you are at giving your own. I never have to worry that you won’t listen to what I say or do your best to respond to my concerns. You not only listen, but you also care about what you hear and use details from our conversations later on either in your actions or in your responses.” -Madison Barker

“I always feel as you are listening well, as we usually try to surmise each other’s statements to each other before we comment on each others’ statements.” -Andrew Radcliff

“You have been a great listener when I need you to be. You are really great at empathizing when you want to and can be guarded when not ready to talk about your own feelings.” -Dirk Hogan
 

I do my best to make others feel like what they say is important and I do my best to prove to them that I’m listening. Madison’s response is a great example of  how I try to show others that I’m listening. I try to involve other people’s communication to me in my behavior or response. I feel like this is the best way to show people that you care about their opinions and feelings.

1. Nonverbal Communication
    

“In our job, we have to be adept at reading body language and nonverbal cues with both customers and coworkers. You effectively read other people’s  nonverbal behavior and usually respond appropriately. What I think you could improve on is being more aware of your own nonverbal communications and how other people, especially customers, are reading it.” -Madison Barker

“Your nonverbal behaviors are fine. You are approachable to me. Maybe you could take more careful avenues to understand one’s feelings that go with nonverbal statements a little better. I think you misinterpret, or maybe just ignore body language sometimes.” -Andrew Radcliff

“[You’re] very keen on picking up nonverbal cues from other people but tend to block your own nonverbal signs especially when you’re bummed. I feel like it’s because you’d prefer to not be a burden on others. Only time it really shows is when you are going through some depression.” -Dirk Hogan

I try to mask a lot of my nonverbal communication.  This could be a reason why Madison doesn’t think I’m as aware of my own nonverbal communication in certain situations at work. I often fake being happy at work in situations where I’m not. I’m sure this forced happiness could come off awkwardly. Andrew has a contradicting view on my interpretation of body language than the other interviewees. This could be in response to him being able to see through a lot of my masking and noticing when I feel like a situation is getting aggressive, resulting in me ending the communication and becoming passive.

1. Communication Strengths

“From the conversations we’ve had, I would say your communication strengths would be your bluntness and your honesty. You don’t beat around the bush, and are upfront with what you are asking or stating which makes for a far more effective conversation. From observing you with others, I would say you’re open and inviting for people to approach you, which allows conversations and communication to flow.” -Madison Barker

“You are an effective active listener. You definitely pay attention to what people have to say, and people can tell. You come across as very thoughtful and attentive.” -Andrew Radcliff

“Verbally you are very articulate and concise. Very little is needed when expressing yourself verbally. You know who you are and what you like. When communication has to do with others you are understanding and a great listener. You don’t try to solve everyone’s problems but you’re there for support. Very empathetic.” Dirk Hogan

 

All three interviewees suggest that my strengths in communication revolve around empathy, self awareness, and listening. I was surprised to see that Madison views my communication style as blunt. I think it’s important to be direct with your supervisors about things you need to do your job well. I’m happy to see that Dirk doesn’t view me as a “problem solver”. It seems he would agree that my genderlect is female. 

1. Communication Weaknesses

“Although you’re great at communicating with me, I think you could be less timid when you need to deal with some customers or coworkers. This is the hardest part of our industry. You’re amazing with customers, but at times, you could be more assertive and confident handling some situations with more difficult customers as well as coworkers.” -Madison Barker

“When communicating about yourself you are also very on point, aside from when you feel like your problems aren’t anyone else’s problem. You tend to dilute the full situation into something more digestible. I feel like it’s because all the uncomfortable situations you’ve been in with our family. You don’t want to come across as someone who is crying for help.” -Andrew Radcliff

“Weakness?  Maybe slightly clouded by your [negative] personal experiences with other people and how it’s affected you.” -Dirk Hogan

 

Madison’s response to my communication weaknesses is agreeable. I would like to be more assertive with others in difficult situations. I didn’t realize how impactful my past experiences were in shaping how I communicate with others presently. It seems that selective memory plays a role in how I communicate on an emotional level. I can also see from Dirk and Andrew’s responses that they both try to interpret why I communicate the way I do.

1. Having a conversation with me

“You’re always fun to have a conversation with. You’re always positive and will say things that I would never expect. The conversation is always two sided, and you actually wants to hear what I have to say. I always enjoy working with you and getting to know you better.” -Madison Barker

“Having a conversation with you is generally easy and full of laughs and can get serious easy if need be. It is really pleasant to have a conversation with you!” -Andrew Radcliff

“You’re easy and fun to talk to. You’re goofy. The only time when you really are full frontal with emotions or straight up is when you know you have complete trust in the other person who is around. Like, you don’t talk about anything serious with anyone. Like not even me half of the time, I have to dig it out of you. If things are great, there are no barriers in your communication and feelings. You love making people feel loved and you love being a happy person. When you’re not happy, you just don’t talk to anyone so you don’t bum anyone out I think...” -Dirk Hogan

I think it’s easy for Madison to believe that I’m always positive because at work, I’m using a script and my communication doesn’t take a lot of thought. Andrew seems to like communicating with me, and knows that I can have difficult conversations with him. It’s very clear that I’m failing at masking my emotions around Dirk. 

1. Summary

I underestimated a few things about myself as a communicator. I underestimated how much I try to mask communicating any sort of negativity. I didn’t know that it was being that clearly interpreted by other people. This makes me feel like I am still communicating these feelings, but I’m doing it in a very ineffective way. I’m clearly not hiding anything from Dirk or Andrew. I need to find a more productive way to communicate my negative feelings. At work I do a better job of hiding negativity, as Madison mentions, I’m “always positive”. It does seem that she notices in my nonverbal communication when I’m having “off” days, she may just not know me well enough to know that I’m masking. 

 

 

Works Cited:

Edwards, Edwards, Meyers, and Wahl. The Communication Age: Connecting and Engaging, 2nd Edt. Sage Publishing, 2017. (pp. 39-306)